Professor "MOND" Bidelman
"Dark matter, Schmark matter. Stars are more interesting
than galaxies anyway"

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Professor "Space Donkey" Mihos
He has only one thing to say about dark matter, or about anything else -
EEEEEEE-HAWWWWWWW
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Professor "MACHO" Morrison
She's tough to the finish, 'cause she eats her Vegemite (yuck!), she's
MACHO the department chair! TOOT TOOT!

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Professor "Brown Dwarf" Luck
He stealthily romps around the universe, grumpy at the fact that he
couldn't be a real star.

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Agnes "Black Hole" Torontali
Like black holes in galaxies, her sway extends well beyond her direct
effects, and nearly all aspects of the department seem to be influenced
by her.

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Charley "Quark Nuggets" Knox
Pick up a value-meal today for all your computer needs!

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Doctor "WIMP" Harding
Despite his unfortunate nickname, he's living proof that not all
Australians are wimpy.

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Professor "Hot Jupiter" Zehavi
It's a star! It's a planet! No, it's a Hot Jupiter!

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Santiago "Hot Gas" Patiri
The name says it all, folks.

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Jeff "Neutrino" Kriessler
Streaming through the department at nearly the speed of light, he's
busy washing out small-scale mass perturbations

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"Dark matter" cupcakes and
cookies

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Fritz sums up the theme:

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In
the classroom - The Greater Tractor
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In the coffee room...
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... all over the department...
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Some
of the preparations:
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